Documentaries
Into The Light
Completed December 21st
God wants to heal us; He is Jehovah Rapha, the Healer. He knows how deeply flawed both the world and we are. But He doesn’t want us to stay hurt and broken; He wants to mend our wounds, restore our hearts, and make us new. He wants to redeem every single area of sin and perversion and align it with His design; this includes our sexuality. Unfortunately, this area of brokenness often goes ignored and misunderstood. Sexuality is one of the most important aspects of humanity that is built into the core of who we are. Whether you are single, married, male, or female, our sexuality gives us a beautiful picture of the gospel. So, when that area of ourselves goes neglected and untreated, it affects so much more than we can imagine. As said in the book, “Sexual brokenness is the deepest form of brokenness, and as such it requires the greatest depths of healing and restoration.” These two ideas are the core of this book: that sexual brokenness is incredibly damaging, but still, nothing is too broken for God to mend.
Surprised by the Healer is an amazing book that follows the stories of nine women who experienced brokenness in their sexuality, but received hope and healing. The women were Marian, Hope, Lorraine, Ann, Angel, Amy, Rita, Kathy, and Alaine. These women allowed the Healer to restore them, whether from sexual abuse, marital infidelity, or even physical ailments. And for many, the LORD also equipped them to be able to help and support others as well. They were all heart-wrenching and devastating in many ways, but also so encouraging and uplifting. The stories were also followed by points from Juli and Linda that related to the testimony. They offered remarks on forgiveness, honesty, and truth that helped me understand how to apply what these women learned in their journey in practice.
One of my favorite stories was definitely Angel. She was a drug addict for 23 years and a prostitute for 6 years. In 2008, she ended up in jail, where she met Becky, a woman who came to share her faith in Jesus and the Bible with inmates. That woman had such an impact on Angel that Angel sought her out after her release. One thing that really stood out to me was something Angel said about Becky: “It was like I met Jesus when I met Becky.” This sums up our whole existence on earth in a few words. We are here to serve God and show Jesus to others so they can grow to know Him as well. The relationship and connection come first. Before the rules, convictions, and callings, we need to know and love Jesus for ourselves. What brought Angel to Christ was nothing but the love and being of Christ that she saw through another believer. That is why it is so important when we interact and speak with those who are in bondage, especially in their sexuality, that they know the love and character of Jesus. If they know that, they can know that He wants to heal and redeem them and draw them near to Himself. But for every person in the book, including Angel, they needed to have a right view of God and His Word to have a correct view of themselves and their sexuality.
As Christians, we often believe our sexual sin and brokenness are too dirty and broken for God to repair. We don’t allow Him full access to these areas, so we don’t experience complete wholeness. But God is more than capable, powerful, and merciful to handle anything we could ever throw at Him. However, the key is relationship and surrender. Once we have a genuine relationship with Christ, we develop an understanding of him, His Word, and, therefore, ourselves. But that is not enough; we must also surrender to His design and direction. We will be healed and renewed, and we will allow Jesus to take over.
Addicted to Porn -
Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly
Completed December 21st
This documentary explores pornography’s impact on people and society around the world. They explained what sex does to the brain and the chemicals that are released. But pornography expedites this process and gives someone an instant hit of these chemicals. They then went to other countries and explored how pornography played a part in their cultures. People from Germany, Australia, Finland, and France were interviewed about the effects of porn. Everyone they spoke to described how porn harmed either themselves or others they knew. They realized how prevalent it was and how it gave them unrealistic expectations for sexual performance and women’s appearances. Then they talked about the danger of online porn to the new generation. Kids are having sexual experiences, packed into a time when a child’s brain isn’t prepared to handle it. Porn has also become very violent or aggressive toward women, and if not, it is humiliating or dehumanizing. People begin to think these kinds of interactions are typical, but they definitely aren’t. This documentary went onto college campuses and asked what they felt about pornography. The students noticed that it didn’t just affect individual interactions but also campus cultural norms. Casual, random hookups had become more common. But girls noted how it often had a bigger impact on them than the guys because they tend to be more attached after sex than men. Next, they explained some of the effects it can have on relationships and intimacy. One expert said, “The most powerful bonding experience that we have physiologically is the bonding of the sexual relationship…so when a person has bonded or connected their arousal with pornography for so long, they can no longer become sexually aroused without the use of pornography.” This prevents people from having the relationship they want because no one will ever find the ideal person. You are also more likely to objectify others and only see them for what they can do for you. They closed by urging people to have open and honest conversations about the harm of porn. When we hide out of fear or because of shame, we stay in bondage to the addiction.
I really enjoyed this documentary. They covered many aspects and effects of pornography, but they also talked to people around the world. This helped me see that this was not just a problem in the US; others around the world are struggling too. One of the stories they highlighted really stood out to me, too. This woman was in a relationship with a man who seemed perfect in every way. She described him as an “All-American Man”; he was attractive, took care of her and her son, and had a good job. They had a good life except in the area of sex. She said that he had a low sex drive, and when they did have sex, he either didn’t last or couldn’t perform. She thought it was her until she found the pornography on his computer. Even though she felt hurt and betrayed, she wanted to help him overcome it, but he kept going to porn. It hurt her so bad, she said, “I used to love his eyes, and I got to a point where I would look at his eyes, and I wanted to stab him in his eyes because I knew what he would look at all day, and… I would look at his hands, and I would cringe when he touched me, and I would want to cut his hands off because I knew what he was doing with his hands all day." This was so heartbreaking to hear. She went from seeing someone she loved so much to a monster who hurt her time and time again. He even described how much he regrets hurting her because he said she didn’t deserve the pain he brought her. One other thing that stuck with me was what makes porn addiction different from drug addiction.
While drugs and alcohol leave your system after a few days, pornography can never be purged from the mind. So the addict is essentially carrying around their drug, which is memories of past images and videos. This means that at any point, a memory can come back and trigger an intense desire to revisit and even escalate the content. That is one of the reasons why pornography addiction is so much more harmful and difficult to overcome. People find themselves stuck in a cycle of short-term recovery, relapse, and shame. But I believe that anything is possible through Christ. So if it be his desire, he can and will remove those things from your memory because he is a miracle worker.
The Heart of Man
Completed November 14th
Shame has a way of keeping us silenced and shackled like nothing else. Author and speaker Laurie Krieg once said, “Shame is a real jerk, and Satan, sexuality, and shame are like best buddies.” Sin separates us from God, and our shame causes us to hide from Him. We feel too dirty, broken, and unworthy to go to God, so we fall deeper into sin and despair. Meanwhile, God never stops chasing after us. He wants to call us back home into a right relationship with Him. Our shame may come from something done to us, something we have done, or both. Whatever the reason, God wants to take it from us and bring us back. But He leaves the choice to us. Will we accept his love offering or continue trying to fight the darkness alone?
The Heart of Man is a beautiful illustration of the prodigal son parable interwoven with real testimonies of freedom and redemption. The story follows a father (God) and a son (us) on a scenic island. The Father handcrafts a violin for his son with the Hebrew word "timshel" carved on the back. Timshel means “thou mayest”; this represents how God gives all of us the ability to choose. God graciously gives us the freedom to choose Him, but most of the time we don't—at least not right away. The film makes it clear that when the son is playing the violin with his Father, he is exactly where he belongs. The documentary also emphasized the importance of a father in a child’s life. A person's primary male figure, such as their father, often serves as a frame of reference for God and his attributes. Whether your dad was good, bad, or absent, we naturally correlate them to one another.
William Paul Young, author of The Shack, stated that it took him most of his adult life to completely remove his father's face from God's face. Another statement he made that struck me was, “Fathers have a way of telling their sons and their daughters the truth of who they are. And when we lose that, when nobody tells us, we are open to any lie that anyone will tell us.” God clearly defines who we are in His word as well as who we are not. However, if we are not reminded of these truths, we allow ourselves to be defined by something or someone else. Even when we are actively walking in God's truth, we can become distracted and stray from Him. The documentary did a good job of illustrating this, showing the son walking away from his father after being seduced by a beautiful woman. He walks until he reaches the cliff's edge, and after a few moments, he steps off into the raging waters below. This is what happens when we allow temptation to take us off course: we abandon the safety of the Father's love and open ourselves up to the raging waters of the world.
Professor Dan Allender illustrated the premise of temptation by saying, “Probably the most unexplainable reality in all of the universe is, 'how can you have everything and simply want something else that you have been told not to get?’ That is madness.” Nevertheless, we give in to temptation and sin against God, further separating ourselves from him. Yet even then, we find ourselves unsatisfied. We discover that the thing we were chasing after was destructive and detestable, not worth the pain we brought to ourselves and God. However, instead of coming before his throne in surrender, as a helpless child in need of a father, we try to work our way back into his grace. One of the interviewers, Tray Lovvorn, described how he tried endlessly to stop watching pornography, but to no avail; he was powerless against this vice, which eventually progressed to a full-fledged sex addiction, resulting in his cheating several times. We try to white-knuckle our way to Christ through "good deeds," behavior changes, and sheer determination, but it is never enough. As stated in Ephesians 2:8-9, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves; it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Nothing we can do will ever be enough to cover the cost of our sin.
Sadly, when we are lost, things usually get worse before they get better. The son now finds himself in a cold, dark place with a demon-like entity above him. The attacker then picks up and beats the son mercilessly, leaving the son bloody, dirty, and completely helpless. All hope seemed to be lost until the Father came tearing through, spilling light into the dank cave. The enemy fled as the Father came to save his son. One thing that stood out to me—something other speakers noted as well—was that the Father does not condemn his son; He embraces him. While this scene was playing out, musician Tony Anderson described his encounter with God amidst his incessant pornography addiction. His revelation really stuck with me; he said, “When I choose to run from him into the darkness. He’s with me in that moment, and he is not angry, and his facial expression is fixed on mine, and he’s loving me. And he wasn’t demanding that I stop; he was demanding that I invite Him into that moment and help me search for what I’m really searching for.” God meets us where we are, ashamed and broken, because He wants to heal us, not see us hurt.
God doesn’t just want to fix us or change our behavior. He wants to transform us into something new—a people defined by the redemptive nature of His love rather than by what we have done or what has been done to us. However, He has given us the option to choose Him, and He knows we will not choose Him. Still, this does not diminish His love for us or His desire to heal our wounds and make us new. When asked about how he and his wife repaired their marriage after years of infidelity, Kevin Triplett responded, “It wasn’t about us fixing our marriage; there was no fixing. It was broken beyond repair. It was knowing Christ could make it new.”