Professional Contacts
Lisa Cook
Interview: September 24th
Lisa Cook is on the Board of Directors at Hope Recovery, a nonprofit organization that specializes in supporting adult survivors of abuse and sexual trauma on the journey of healing. Before working at Hope Recovery, Lisa managed a team at a financial technology company for many years until she retired. But after 5 years, she became involved with the ministry. Even though she had no intention of working at a trauma recovery center, she is now the board president. She also facilitates trauma recovery groups and workshops and is developing new workshops to reach even more people. Lisa had to work through her own struggles with trauma and faith in her life. She struggled with trusting people due to the abuse committed against her, even by a pastor. However, she still believes in the church's importance in survivors' recovery and support.
However, God still transforms the worst things into something fruitful and even beautiful. Knowing God had a purpose for her despite her abuses gave her hope for the future. That message is exactly what I want others to understand and receive from my project. The knowledge and belief that God will heal and redeem our sexual brokenness in a way that ultimately glorifies him. Lisa also shared how she thought the church and Christian communities could better support survivors. She stressed the importance of speaking up about sexual abuse and providing support for those who are struggling because, statistically, numerous women have been the victims of sexual abuse in their lifetimes; they just don't feel safe opening up about their experiences. One key thing that I took away from our meeting was the warmth and joy I felt from her, even through a screen. Her line of work can be extremely hard and overwhelming, but her strength and kindness come straight from God’s heart.
Wendy Maltz
Interview: September 24th
Wendy Maltz is a highly esteemed sex therapist, relationship counselor, and licensed clinical social worker. She has been retired for 10 years; however, she was previously a sex therapist for over 40 years and has taught courses at major universities and national and international conferences. Wendy spent her career counseling, researching, and specializing in sexuality topics that are often ignored, like sexual fantasies, the repercussions of sexual abuse, the harmful impacts of pornography, and more. This helped expand understanding of subjects people were neglecting to acknowledge while still addressing the issues people faced. She also received the Carnes Award from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health in 2014 for her contributions to the field of sexuality. Now, Wendy continues to explore, write, and give interviews on sexuality topics. She is still fully committed to helping people achieve healthy sexuality, a right she believes everyone deserves.
I thoroughly enjoyed my interview with Wendy; it was evident that she had much experience and knowledge about sexuality and the human body. To begin, she provided a lot of information about her background and upbringing, and how they shaped her career choice. She grew up in a sex-positive home where talking about sex was not strange or taboo, and she was naturally curious about these topics as well. And during her time at UC Berkeley, she was heavily interested in women’s empowerment, rights, and movements like the ‘Take Back the Night Movement.’ But it wasn’t until she began counseling and teaching at schools that she realized the importance of empowering others to talk about these issues. She also spent time in family counseling, helping women reclaim their sexuality and pleasure. Wendy recognized that there was so much shame and silence in our culture concerning sexuality, which was one of the biggest reasons people were struggling so much. We also spoke about the effects of sexual abuse psychologically and relationally. She explained how, because we are all different and have different experiences, we process the trauma differently. One thing she said that stood out to me was that most of the issues or barriers people face are easy fixes. She said herself, “There's often something with their sexuality that was harmed, or they feel bad about… or they're just plain ignorant.” Many sexual issues that we are facing in the world and even in the church still have such a hold on us because we do not speak up or learn about them and ourselves. When we remain ashamed, we are unable to fulfill our purposes, even sexual ones, properly. However, many of us simply need to be educated on how our bodies work and why God made them that way to free us from so much confusion and shame.
Jason Evert
Interview: September 29th
Jason Evert is a Catholic speaker and author who specializes in chastity. He and his wife, Crystalina, founded the Chastity Project and have been giving chastity talks and workshops for 27 years. The goal of the Chastity Project is to bring the message of pure love to teens and young adults who are shackled by lust. They want to share the truth of God’s design for love and sexuality in a world that is constantly feeding them counterfeits. The Everts and their speakers bring the message to schools and parishes worldwide; they offer a range of resources, including books, CDs, DVDs, and a podcast called “Lust is Boring.” They want young adults and teens to discover and embrace the truth God speaks to them about their sexuality, and to become missionaries to those around them. They hope to motivate them to share what they have learned with their peers, helping them as well.
During the interview, we spoke a lot about how important chastity was to Jason personally and to him sharing it with others. In his early adulthood, he spoke to teens and young adults about chastity, and it was evident they knew little about human love. And really had a hunger to learn more about sexuality and to receive guidance on it. Jason also struggled with chastity in his youth and recalled how he often did not live a holy and surrendered lifestyle in his sexuality. These experiences helped him to discover that chastity was more than just maintaining your virginity but an ongoing process—a daily battle, not a one-and-done. His conviction regarding smartphones also struck me. According to him, one of the biggest obstacles young people face in living chaste lives is their phones. It is so easy for teens to access pornography and pornographic materials online nowadays, especially with unfiltered internet access. He also discussed how social media purchases our time, saying, “The way the business works is if you're not buying a product, you are the product. And so when it comes to social media, your time is the product.” So if you have a tendency to spend more time on content that is sexual or violent, the algorithm will continue to feed you content of that nature. However, there is one thing that I found especially noteworthy. He said that the number one perpetrators of sexual abuse against children are young adolescent boys who've been exposed to pornography. While that may not be accurate, the amount is higher than we expect. Children are being exposed to and addicted to pornography more easily and earlier, and many believe that it should be considered a public health crisis. Nevertheless, I was extremely encouraged by Jason’s passion for chastity and for the hearts and minds of young people. He doesn’t just want them to make good decisions; while that is good, he wants them to have an accurate view of love and relationships.
Chris McKenna
Interview: October 7th
Chris McKenna was a business consultant at Ernst & Young for 12 years until the Lord called him into youth ministry at his church. He watched as children and teens now had access to the world, largely thanks to the recent rise of smartphones. Something did not seem right to him about that, though. He did not like the idea that young people had so many choices and ideas in their pockets. So, to help other parents stay informed about social media, he created a Facebook group called Digital Kids. He wanted to prevent parents from making risky decisions for their kids about things they didn't know at the time. This was the biggest inspiration for him to found Protect Young Eyes. Chris was also extremely passionate about this because of his own experience with childhood pornography exposure. He even says in his bio, “And so, the drive behind Protect Young Eyes is my relentless desire to prevent your son or daughter from becoming me.”
Chris has an evident and unwavering passion for protecting the hearts and minds of young children. He said that the Lord has given him tremendous energy to devote to protecting and preparing families in the digital age. He realizes that it is now up to parents to protect and inform their children about the internet and its dangers, because no one else will, at least not well. I enjoyed that he mentioned that his company is not anti-tech but pro-tact—right tech at the right time. He does not believe parents should give children unrestricted access to the internet and social media. Still, he believes they should have some exposure to certain things at a certain age, with restrictions. He also recognized that one of the biggest dangers we often overlook on social media is the time we spend there. Something he said that stood out to me was, “Our minutes plus our mind equals their money.” However, the biggest thing that stuck with me was how he turned digital situations into analog moments. Like how parents post their kids’ first-day-of-school photos to strangers on the internet, but in real life, it would be like handing your neighbors photos of your child. When we think about it that way, it does not make much sense why we use social media the way we do. Social media was not meant for children, so why should they be given unrestricted access to the world? It is so important that kids and parents understand the risks of social media and the content that can be produced so that young people’s hearts and minds can be better guarded against some of the enemy’s attacks.
Debbie Laaser
Interview: October 9th
Debbie Laaser and her husband, Mark, founded Faithful and True in 1987. It is a Christian counseling center that specializes in the treatment of pornography and sexual addiction for men and support for their spouses who might be experiencing betrayal trauma. Debbie and Mark had a personal connection to this issue as they walked through it in their marriage. So they know firsthand the importance of getting help and support for those in this situation. Sadly, in September 2019, Mark passed away from cancer. Debbie has since taken over as the company’s director. For 20 years, she has facilitated therapy groups, individual counseling, and 3-day intensives for betrayed wives. She is a published author and speaker on topics of sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, and post-traumatic growth.
One thing I enjoyed about our interview was how she spoke about the betrayed spouse in the marriage. When we think of infidelity in a marriage, we often put a lot of emphasis on getting help for the one who cheated. And though it is important for them to receive care and accountability, it is just as important for the other person to get help. She was shocked to be advised to seek assistance after she and her spouse went through this themselves, because something that she and many other wives struggle with is the belief that they caused their husbands to cheat. Debbie, though confused, quickly realized she had much to learn and grow in, including letting go of the lie that she was responsible. Debbie also talked about how formative traumatic experiences can be. She noted that God doesn’t waste the hard things, but he wants to grow us. She explained that there were five main areas of growth in those who have experienced trauma, or post-traumatic growth. They include a greater sense of self, deeper relationships with others, growth in their spiritual faith, changed life priorities, and greater opportunities. She not only saw these areas of growth in herself but also in other women who had suffered betrayal in their relationships, when we allow God to use and redeem our pain and experiences for our good and his glory.
Kalimah Johnson
Interview: October 15th
Kalimah Johnson is the founder and CEO of SASHA Center in Detroit, Michigan, former sexual assault and domestic violence social worker for the Detroit Police Department. SASHA Center is a Black woman-led, culturally specific sexual assault healing agency that aims to increase awareness, provide resources, and educate the public about sexual assault. SASHA is an acronym for Sexual Assault Services for Holistic Healing and Awareness. They specialize in support groups, programs, and awareness efforts for Black women and girls to advance justice and increase visibility for survivors in Southeast Michigan. They offer prevention and educational workshops for schools, communities, churches, and other organizations, and provide culturally relevant groups for Black women survivors, including African ancestry, music and dance, urban gardening, hair texture and skin tones, Kemetic yoga, and more. Additionally, Kalimah created the Lived Experience Decision Tree and the Black Women's Triangulation of Rape Model as tools to support women on their journeys and provide them with something that resonates with them.
My interview with Kalimah was definitely one of my favorites, not just because of the insight she shared. This interview felt more like a casual conversation or story time than a formal meeting. It was clear that she had extensive experience in her field and valuable insight as a black woman. So she can provide unique perspectives and resources that others may not have even considered. In our interview, she noted that the SASHA Center does not seek to exclude people of other races or genders; they are welcome in the groups as well. However, people of different identities might not be able to relate to or understand the rhetoric or subjects covered in the groups because they are centered around black culture. This is one thing that stood out to me as well. My assumption going into the interview was that the SASHA Center was exclusive; however, it is actually focused on Black culture. Another thing that stuck with me is her intentionality with language. At the SASHA Center, they do not refer to survivors of rape as survivors or victims but as experiencers. She explained, “When you call somebody a victim or a survivor, that puts them in a box in terms of how they're supposed to behave and show up.” I love how she gives the women a term that does not negate the abuse but also allows them to reclaim their power.
Bernie Anderson
Interview: October 21st
Bernie Anderson was a respected Seventh-day Adventist pastor, husband, and father. He was the former senior pastor at Wasatch Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church and the Texas Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. Still, behind closed doors, he was shackled by an incessant pornography addiction. He was first exposed to pornography at the age of 9 when he found some discarded magazines in a box, and his second exposure was from a VHS tape he saw as a young teen. Bernie was plagued with this addiction not only throughout his childhood but also into his adult life as an ordained pastor, as a husband, and as a father. Things only changed once he reached his bottom and talked to someone about what he was struggling with, and he immediately felt hope and freedom. The Lord has been renewing Bernie’s marriage and rebuilding their trust. Bernie also published a book in 2007 called Breaking the Silence, recounting his journey and offering encouragement and insight to others.
One thing I enjoyed about our interview was how she spoke about the betrayed spouse in the marriage. When we think of infidelity in a marriage, we often put a lot of emphasis on getting help for the one who cheated. And though it is important for them to receive care and accountability, it is just as important for the other person to get help. She was shocked to be advised to seek assistance after she and her spouse went through this themselves, because something that she and many other wives struggle with is the belief that they caused their husbands to cheat. Debbie, though confused, quickly realized she had much to learn and grow in, including letting go of the lie that she was responsible. Debbie also talked about how formative traumatic experiences can be. She noted that God doesn’t waste the hard things, but He wants to grow us. She explained that there were five main areas of growth in those who have experienced trauma, or post-traumatic growth. They include a greater sense of self, deeper relationships with others, growth in their spiritual faith, changed life priorities, and greater opportunities. She not only saw these areas of growth in herself but also in other women who had suffered betrayal in their relationships, when we allow God to use and redeem our pain and experiences for our good and His glory.
Gwendolyn Jones
Interview: October 22nd
Gwendolyn Jones is the founder of ARISE International Inc., a nonprofit domestic violence organization for women of child sexual abuse and human trafficking. They help these women in their recovery through faith-based support groups. Faith is central to their mission, as they aim to glorify God and show Christ’s love while helping survivors heal. Gwendolyn established ARISE during her own healing journey to help raise awareness and has led over a hundred clients through their recovery program, Shelter from the Storm© Hope for Survivors of Sexual Abuse. She actually uses the same curriculum that she went through in her own recovery. Gwendolyn’s heart is to show survivors that it is never too late to heal, but we just have to choose to experience it.
One thing that Gwendolyn emphasized in the interview was the power of sharing your story and being vulnerable. She recalled being in recovery and sharing her story with her coworkers, who also shared their own experiences. People that she saw and spoke with every day experienced the same trauma that she did, and she didn’t even know it. Freedom comes when we face our problems and share our stories because the enemy can’t keep us in shame and silence any longer. Gwendolyn also explained how it is a journey for women to begin to believe that they are loved. They have to continually use God’s word to combat the lies that tell them that they don’t have worth and that it was their fault. She saw how people began to realize they were believing a lie and to live in truth. She also noted how it is important to provide a place where people don’t feel judged, condemned, or criticized. I think that is definitely something many churches and Christian communities need to be more intentional about. The reason many people do not turn to Christ with their sexual issues is that the church either does not talk about them or heavily condemns them in a way that makes people feel unclean and ashamed. Luckily, it is never too late to grow and provide communities for survivors that are both safe and biblically sound.
Brett Hendrix
Interview: November 3rd
Brett Hendrix is the founder of Changing Lanes Ministry, based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which helps people of all ages and genders find freedom in biblical sexual integrity. They do this by providing several services and support for those seeking restoration. Brett, after walking through his own battle of sexual addiction, began simply by sharing his story with others in 2007. It slowly grew and progressed, and by 2010, they started providing counseling in small groups for men. They now run a full-time discipleship ministry not just for men, but for wives, teens, parents, families, and even churches. They believe that sexuality is a gift from God and can be embraced as a part of our identity in Christ, contrary to the culture that believes one’s identity lies in their sexuality. Still, they continue to stand on God’s word and help the global church find freedom from sexual brokenness.
Two of the core values at Changing Lanes are connection and accountability; these stood out to me in our interview. Brett spoke about how important it is for someone walking this journey to truly connect with those around them and be honest about what they feel, think, and believe about themselves. Not so that they can be shunned or punished, but so that they can find freedom in vulnerability. They are now defined by their identity as children of God rather than by what they have done or what has been done to them. Another thing that really stood out to me was his personal devotion to Christ. He even said, “Due to the nature of what I do, I know that if I am not seeking Christ daily, this will devour me.” He recognized that God has given him so much, and he doesn’t want to lose it, because that would mean he has turned from God. So he has to continually seek the Lord in prayer, the word, and in community. Brett also talked about the importance of investing in his wife and kids, because it is important to have your family and personal life in order and to make them a priority. I was extremely encouraged by Brett’s humility and honesty about his story and ministry. He knows that outside of God, none of it would be possible, and he is not afraid to say it.
Tiffany Starnes
Interview: November 13th
Tiffany Starnes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist at the Eagles Landing Christian Counseling Center. She joined the ELCCC in 2011, but she has experience from many other treatment centers. She enjoys counseling older kids and teens with mood issues and working with their parents, singles, and nontraditional and blended families. Tiffany also does couples, marriage, and family therapy, premarital counseling, substance abuse treatment, spiritual uncertainty counseling, and more. All these things allow her to help many people with a variety of challenges, like anxiety, stress, depression, and sex-related issues.
It was such a joy speaking with Tiffany. She was very kind and funny, but it was also evident that she knew a lot about her work. I love that she also wants the conversation around sex to be more open in the Christian community. Then we will be better able to educate and help people, and they will be better equipped to have certain conversations on their own. One thing that stood out to me was when she said, “In religious circles, it's considered a nasty, dark, terrible thing that we don't talk about. And then we put a ring on your finger, and…all of a sudden it's a wonderfully beautiful thing, and that's quite a shock to the system.” Not only was this very funny, but it is also true. In the church, we paint sex as this almost bad thing. Something you don’t do or talk about unless you're married, and once you get married, it will be wonderful and amazing. Tiffany then went on to say that God created sex and is actually a big fan of it, which is also correct. When we begin to think about that, instead of sex in its distorted form, we can recover the beauty and pleasure in it. But we can also equip the next generation with knowledge and understanding of God, marriage, and sex.
Canden Webb
Interviews: October 29th & November 19th
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Canden Webb is the founder of Your Purity Coach (YPC) International, where she is a head coach. Together with her partner, Cellus Hamilton, she assists faith-based organizations in supporting their single members and teaches and mentors single and engaged men and women. Camden has a background in psychology and has thoroughly studied spirituality, which helps people break cycles of addiction and lust. She helps singles learn to master their bodies and enhance their relationships and lives before marriage. As well as discover truth and reclaim their freedom as they align with their God-given sexuality.
One thing I really loved about my talk with Canden was how open she was about everything. She was not afraid to share her honest opinions and experiences, no matter how taboo they might be. She recalled how she would have valued having people share their own stories to help guide her. This is why our testimonies are so powerful: God gets glory, and we can help others who are going through similar experiences. Another thing that she touched on was the importance of the “why” behind our choices and beliefs on purity and sexuality. For us to have a proper view of biblical sexuality, we must not just know what we are supposed to do but also know why we want to do it. She said, “It's not about saying no, but it's about when I do create a boundary around my body, or…my relationship status…why am I doing that? And is it in my best interest to continue doing that?” I think this is a key element that many people are missing in their purity journey. It is much harder to keep at something when you have no idea why you are doing it. However, once we have a proper understanding of ourselves, God, and how he created our bodies and sexuality, we can better receive and live his invitation to purity.
Michael Leahy
Interview: November 21st
Michael Leahy is the founder of BraveHearts, a Christ-centered nonprofit that
supports those with compulsive sexual issues and their betrayed partners. They provide information, mentoring, and community to help them grow and heal. The ministry was birthed out of Michael's own redemption and recovery story from sexual addiction. It began as a several-decades-long pornography addiction that led to multiple affairs in his marriage and, unfortunately, a divorce. But once he hit rock bottom and allowed God to heal his heart, God began to use his story to help others. He is a respected author, speaker, and expert on topics of sexual addictions and pornography. With his resources and BraveHearts, he is helping many men and women receive authentic healing and freedom.
After we spoke about his background and story, he began to discuss why he believes pornography addiction has become so widespread. He explained how we were all created for intimacy in a healthy context. However, pornography is a quick and easy substitute for true intimacy that is reserved for the boundaries of a committed marriage. Michael also described how many believe the lie that sex can be transactional without any impact, but that could not be further from the truth. As 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, sexual sin is the only sin committed against the body. So sexual immorality takes such an emotional and spiritual toll, unlike any other sin. It does not just create an intimacy barrier between God and us because we are taking something he meant for good and distorting it. It also affects how we view and treat others. When someone is addicted to porn or sex, they will tend to objectify their relationships with others. We see people as transactional and see them only for what they can do for us. I think the thing that stood out to me most was the common lie that these compulsive behaviors aren’t hurting anyone. Sexual immorality hurts us, God, and will eventually spill over into our relationships with others as well.
Christopher West
Interview: November 25th
Christopher West is the co-founder and president of the Theology of the Body Institute. A catholic educational institution dedicated to learning, living, and sharing S.t John Paul II’s Theology of the Body (TOB). They do this through events, conferences, books, and other channels such as social media and podcasts. Christopher is also very devoted to the TOB’s mission in both his personal and professional lives. He seeks to embrace his God-given identity and dignity and view others in the same way. He is a global lecturer and best-selling author, and he runs a podcast with his wife, Wendy, and is one of the world’s most recognized teachers of St. John Paul II’s TOB.
My interview with Mr. West was definitely one of my favorites. He had so much passion and genuine enthusiasm for sexuality and the TOB. It was evident that he was dedicated to this and that it truly changed his heart and mind. He had immense knowledge and insight into the TOB, the Bible, and the human heart. One idea he really emphasized was what he called the “spousal vision of the Bible.” The Bible begins with the marriage of a man and a woman in Eden. Throughout the Old Testament, God speaks of his love for his people as the love of a husband for his bride. In the New Testament, the love of the eternal bridegroom is embodied when the Word is made flesh. And lastly, the book of Revelation describes heaven as a marriage in a heavenly paradise, the marriage of Christ and the church. These things help bring the profound mystery of marriage into view in the Word. One thing that stuck with me was his understanding of the whole Bible in this context; he said, “God wants to marry us, and he wanted this marital plan to be so plain to us that he chiseled an image of it right in our bodies by making us male and female.” I had never thought of this concept before, but the more he explained it, the more I understood it. God did not just want to marry his people in the Bible; he wants us to be in covenant with him now. We do that not just with earthly marriage but in a right relationship and understanding of him.